Think of change as a complicated jigsaw puzzle where from start to completion there are 6 stages.
1st stage: pre-contimplation
Someones given you pieces to a jigsaw puzzle in a bag as a present. You put it to one side totally disinterested in it. You are aware they exist but for you right now they are of little or no interest.
2nd stage: contemplation
That puzzle has been in the corner of your room for few days, weeks even months perhaps. It’s started to enter your thoughts. Maybe you could give it a go. But where do you start? Are you still too busy?
3rd stage: preparing
No you’ve decided you want to give it a good crack. Why not? So you go and find the box it comes in and in front of you now is all the information you need. However the picture looks difficult and as much as you would love to see it completed you’re not sure you will have the time.
4th stage: trying
Great the perfect time to make a start has come along. You’ve got everything you need so you get cracking. It’s really tough so you take pics and track and monitor your progress for reassurance that the hard work is worth it. You tell your close ones of all that you’re achieving looking for praise to keep you moving forward. The picture is really coming together.
5th stage: maintaining
Youre doing it. You manage to find enough time each week to keep on track and get this jigsaw completed. It no longer feels like a chore you seem to just be able to get on with it. It’s looking great and only a couple more pieces till you’ve achieved your goal. You start to wonder what ever held you back in the first place.
6th stage: transcendence
Youve only gone and completed it! The whole picture done and dusted! It’s taken you a while but you’ve kept it a priority and the initial hard work has paid off. The thought of it just sat there in the corner of the room all that time feels crazy. You would never leave another jigsaw like that ever again. From now on as soon as you’ve completed one puzzle you will start the next. Maybe trying different types or harder ones. One things for sure you would never go back to not doing anything about it at all ever again. This is how you do things now.
Now think of something you’ve wanted to change or maybe there’s something you’ve always wanted to do. Can you apply it to the stages above? Where are you sitting? How are you going to move to the next stage?
So research suggests that to get started, change needs to come from yourself, from within. You might well get to stage 5 with support from your friends and family. They maybe the ones eager to see change so they go and gather all the information you need for you to start. Unfortunately it’s suggested that if this is the case, any change that does occur is less likely to be sustainable.
So if it’s something you want to do for yourself then do the research, gain support, let others know what you’re up to and why. They may even join in too. You can always seek out professional help at this stage have a consultation to see what it’s really going to entail and if they have any suggestions to make things easier.
Be honest with yourself and make first steps achievable and realistic (I wanted to be a unicorn for most of my early years. I had to be realistic and give up on this dream because trying to become one was killing me). Write a list of the stuff that normally gets in the way and see if you can trouble shoot solutions. Keep a diary before you start and after including how you feel and make lists of the positives that the change is bringing you. But remember to be honest else there really is no point.
life is unpredictable. If you’re always waiting for the perfect time or waiting to start when you know you can give 100% all the time then again this type of effort may not be sustainable. If you can make a start on a Wednesday in March rather than 1st January I think you’re mindset is well on the way to success. Don’t get bogged down in perfection, 2 out of 7 days is better than none.
Lots of people get to stage 5 and relapse. Hey life can throw all sorts at you. But don’t despair as you won’t ever have to start at stage 1 again will you? Just pick back up where you left off as soon as you can. Figure out what went wrong and see if you can put something in place to help you through should it happen again.
For change to move to stage 6 you need to not be consciously making changes, rather the initial change is now your norm and so has become your life. If you can get here then huge pat on the back! Reaching stage 6 means not only are you doing what you wanted to or you’ve achieved your primary goal, it means you’ve surpassed it and you ain’t ever going back.
To get here does take a lot of hard work in the first stages, but if this is your dream then why the hell would you not fight for it?
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