I had a conversation with a guy a couple of years ago who had been travelling all round the world since he left school. I had said to him that I wish I had been braver in my teens/early 20s and started this journey then. He replied that he thought I was much braver for going now in my late 20s (I’m now the latest of 20s you can be). I dismissed it and it wasn’t until I handed in my notice at work that I started to become scared about it all.
1) Career: I’ve been to university for 5 years to get my job. It’s been very hard and demanding as anyone working as a professional in the NHS will agree. I kept going through the blood, sweat and tears (literally) because I wanted to have a good and safe career. I got there but wasn’t eligible for a career break to take on this adventure so I have walked away unsure whether I can walk back again.
2) House: Me and G are pretty much using mortgage deposit money to go on a massive holiday. Years ago there wouldn’t have even been any mortgage deposit money or plans to buy property at all. Now I’m nearly 30 the thought of not owning a house is a bit daunting.
3) Forever after relationships: At 25 I was very close to having the 4 main tick boxes of a 30something. House, husband, career and all set to have babies. We are now divorced and both happily moved on. But this does mean that I’ll be 30 with none of the above and whilst I’m more than happy to be on constant holiday with the love of my life and no real fixed abode, my biological clock is ticking. (That sound you can hear isn’t my biological clock, it’s G running as hard and as fast as his feet will stand!)
4) Friends moving on: When you’re younger, people might move off to university but they always came back and you’d still have loads in common so just picked straight back up where you left off. Now we are older, friends are getting wed, they are having babies and are looking to move into bigger homes where minging house parties become civilised dinner dates. Me and G won’t be there to celebrate or to ‘grow up’ with them.
5) Holiday Blues: What happens if we have the most incredible time ever and come home unsatisfied? You don’t miss what you haven’t had but we will have had it.
6) Buying stuff again: We sold pretty much everything and there is nothing fun when you’ve lived and moved the amount of times I have in starting again from scratch. Getting lost in Ikea, fighting in Home Bargains, finding exactly what you want in a magazine to be gutted to find it’s only available in Barker & Stonehouse and costs more than your house deposit.
7) Taking a chance: All of this means we are taking a huge chance. We might have sacked it all off for nothing. We might get to our last destination and realise England is the best and that we’ve wasted a crap load of money to discover that. I doubt it but the older you get the less chances you take and any chance feels huge which for me equals increased day to day anxiety.
Having said all that, I was going to call this ‘Top 10’ but could only think of 7 fears so I’m going to forget it all and just run with it! 😉
What would be your biggest fear?
expeditioningloveandstuff 
My biggest fear would be to have had a daughter who was too scared to do it! xxx
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