I grew up watching ‘friends’ on TV which was pretty much based entirely on 20something people doing everything they could to be where they should be in life by the time they reached 30 (in a hilarious way of course). And where should you be? What should you be acting like? I assumed the ’30 ticklist’ would be to have a degree, safe career, married, kids, nice home and car and a small sophisticated group of friends.
I remember starting high school thinking the kids leaving seemed so grown up. I reached 16 and laughed at the thought. Then on my 21st I decided that now was the time to start adulting. I got completely wasted dressed as a milk maid then woke up the next day vowing never again starting the journey of achieving the things above over the next 9 years. I did tick most of them off by 25 but I realised as each year passed I actually didn’t feel any different. I don’t think I acted much different either! I still got wasted on weekends and thought I was more mature than I was. I became very opinionated and my confidence verged arrogance as I thought I was doing everything by the book and was acquiring more and more ‘stuff’ reaffirming that I had things spot on and together. But I still made mistakes and wrong choices. I was still drinking and falling out with people like I had done in my teens.
I started to ask myself how is it meant to feel? How are you meant to act? I looked to my dad to see what he was up to at his age. He had a job, a home and in a relationship but he was still as daft as a brush and only working to clock up enough dough to go off for a month or 2 in Europe on his motorbike. Now I think at my age my parents had already had me and my brother a few years and probably didn’t feel anymore grown up than I do now. I guess it helps that I have no responsibility, but the more I compare where I am in life to where I should be I actually smile. I’m glad. I have no desire to rush into marrying G and having kids and buying a home together to stop a meltdown on my 30th birthday. I know there won’t be one. 30 is just an age like any other. It doesn’t even mean middle age anymore.
Everyday as a nurse I see couples having kiddies in their 30s and 40s and the positives that brings. I see people in there 60s and 70s travelling all over the world and lifting more at the gym then anyone else. I see couples that had children young who in their 40s and 50s are able to send them to university and almost reinvent their own lives again. I can’t say from my experiences that any person is happier than the other because they achieved various goals by their 30th or not. We all live our lives and choose what we do based on our own intuitions. Everybody does stuff differently and there is no right or wrong way. And it’s great we do do all stuff differently, the world would be boring as hell if we were all sheep. I see people however making rash decisions due to the fear of being 30 without achieving the ’30 ticklist’ but I don’t know that they are anymore unhappy in life.
So in summary, for me being 30 (very nearly 30) is nothing that I thought it would be. I have nothing that I should have. I act exactly the same as I did 10 years ago only now the stuff I do is more frowned upon because I’m older. And I actually dont mind at all. I am in fact happier than I have ever been as the extra 10 years have taught me to chill out, what will be will be and if you need stuff to change, well you just go ahead and change it.
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expeditioningloveandstuff 